Motherhood is everything in extremes

I read a quote in a magazine today, quoted from a book that i've been meaning to get out of the library called "Buddhism for Mothers".
"Motherhood is everything in extremes".

I think that about sums it up. Good and bad, fun and challenging, that is exactly it. Struck a chord, and that has become a new thought of mine, along with "This too shall pass" in the hard moments, and "with children, the days are long but the years are short", to remind me that to enjoy it while it is still here.

And I am proud to say that I do, very much.

The 'everything in extremes' bit is true in every way. My children bring me the most happiness, the most pride, the most to look forward to, to most 'little moments'. They also bring me the most frustration, the least sleep, the least relaxation, the most mess. All in extremes.

When I say that quote to myself in the frustrating time, it reminds me, gives me a kick, that although things they do/don't do can drive me insane, in the same hour, they will do/say something that will make me laugh to extreme or feel love to the extreme...and it all balances out. No actually, it doesn't balance out at all. The good definitely tips the bad, it is way more. It just seems that the bad is what also makes me react and then feel guilty or stew on it, so it leaves a bigger impression than it deserves to.

I have realised recently that one of my biggest challenges with motherhood is an issue of my own. I have a 'personal space issue', a certain degree of claustrophobia. Not a medical or psychological issue as such, but it does affect my tolerance of the kids at times. Like when helping one of them on the toilet and the other one stands behind me in the little room, I get quite anxious and have to monitor my reaction to keep it fair. My instinct is to panic to make space around me, but I need to use my self-control to ask nicely for some space. It happens regularly, this need for space, because with two toddlers who ADORE me and always want to be right with me, closely following me and standing under my feet, I don't get given much personal space. But again in extremes, while that is extremely challenging to me sometimes, I remind myself that I am blesssed with two very affectionate children, and I certainly get cuddles and kisses in the extreme too. Being an affectionate person myself, I wouldn't change it so I have to take both the crowding AND the cuddles, and monitor my anxious reaction when my personal space is invaded by two toddles at times I don't want it to be.

Another example of extremes in a way is a little something that happened last week. Both kids and I were unwell with a cold, miserable and snotty and tired and coughing, all feeling out of sorts. They were being more frustrating than usual because they were sick, and I was more easily frustrated than usual because I was sick (surely there should be a rule that parents and kids shouldn't be unwell at the same time!). Michael's whining had just reached an all-time high and to my fluid-filled ears and sore head, it sounded like nails on a blackboard. I lost the plot and yelled at him. I can't remember what i said, but I know my yelling wasn't pretty. He cried and then took off outside. I thought he was going out to nurse his wounded feelings and I was glad for the space from him. A couple of minutes later, he came up to me with a bunch of flowers that he'd picked from our garden, handed them to me and said, "I know you're feeling sick Mummy, and I hope these help you to feel better." What a sweet sweet boy. I of course felt guilty that I had unfairly yelled at this gorgeous little person, but mostly I felt so proud and amazed at his generosity of spirit for recognising how I felt and putting his own hurt feelings behind him in an effort to make me feel better. Sometimes (often) I think children are bigger people than us jaded adults.

My final example of extremes...Christmas. It is only 19 sleeps till Christmas. A very busy 3 weeks ahead. I know it will be crazy and chaos and there's so much to do. All on top of the normal everyday stuff that I already struggle to fit in.
But CHRISTMAS!! I LOVE it. I always did but with kids, it is so special. I soak up every moment and expose them to everything to do with it. Santa is coming this afternoon infact, to help us put up our tree and decorations. I am very excited and Michael is too.
The extremes of Christmas...busy and tiring, but so fun and magical. And like with parenting, fun and magical win hands-down.